Tales from the Projects: Ice Truck Killer

The ice cream man doesn't take food stamps. I don't understand why he would choose to include the projects on his route, but I suppose that's neither here nor there. As a child, I witnessed a pair of sisters harassing our ponytailed ice cream man and demanding that he give them his lunch.

He ignored their demands and started to drive away. They chased him on their rollerblades. Keep in mind that this entire scene is playing out to the tune of Pop Goes the Weasel. Ice cream trucks don't go very fast, so the older sister was able to skate in front of the truck when suddenly, with a loud thud, he ran her over.

Her leg was broken or something, so we all carried her back to her notoriously mean mother. I want you to imagine the meanest, scariest, angriest person you know. Now I want you to imagine that their daughter was just run over by an ice cream truck.