Epic Crossover between 'Confessions' and 'Tales from the Projects'

I'm a compulsive liar. I figured I could use my blog to disclose my many falsehoods and ease this crushing guilt. 

My mom:
My neighbors:
Taxpayers?:

I stole food stamps and then lied about it. Sorry.

Back in the day when food stamps were still made of paper, I would steal them from my neighbors and hand them in to my mother. My cover story was that I found them in the gutter. She still doesn't know about this, but she reads my blog, so I guess she does now. Stop reading my blog, Mom.