Friday, July 22, 2011

Confessions: Part 1

I'm a compulsive liar. I figured I could use my blog to disclose my many falsehoods and ease this crushing guilt. 


PANERA BREAD:


I deceived you; I am sorry.

Sometimes when I am very hungry I want to order two of your sandwiches to-go, but I don't want you to judge me. I pretend to be getting one sandwich for me and one for my imaginary boyfriend. I keep up this ruse by pretending to talk to them on the phone as I enter your establishment and then saying things to your cashiers like, "oh yeah, he wanted chips." I'm very convincing. In actuality, I will be eating both sandwiches. And all the chips. Alone.

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