Complaining about The Kennedys

That title is misleading. Let's get one thing straight: I love the Kennedys. I was referring to this miniseries.

A little background info: History Channel produced The Kennedys but, due to early controversy and bad reviews, decided not to air it. The miniseries was picked up by the ReelzChannel (I've never heard of that, have you heard of that?) and now it's on Netflix Instant for the enjoyment of all (well, until everyone cancels their Netflix accounts).

I started this post with every intention of writing a mildly humorous review (since I hoped to turn those wasted 8 hours into something worthwhile), but I've just decided against it because A.) I don't feel like it, and B.) no one cares. Okay, I just want to talk about Bobby now. So to sum up: The Kennedys made me mad and kind of sucked, surprising no one.

My friend Brendan once called me a bobbykennedysexual because I'm not attracted to anyone who isn't Bobby Kennedy. That's a slight exaggeration but admittedly, my feelings for him are weird and creepy. In The Kennedys, they made Barry Pepper wear false teeth and a prosthetic nose which looked hilariously terrible. I kept shouting things at the TV like, "WHO IS THIS TOOTHY GEEK?" and, "I HOPE HE GETS SHOT." By the 6th hour, the Bobby Kennedyness of it all had come through, and I had fallen in love with him. I ended up crying like a baby when he was assassinated. Ironically, I didn't cry when JFK was shot, and I ALWAYS cry when JFK gets shot.

RFK and Ethel were so hot for each other. Those 8 hours I spent watching them in The Kennedys really made me want to get married. I should watch what I say before my Mom calls and tells me to stop reeking of desperation. Mom (if you're reading this...?), I'm not saying I want to get married per se, I just want to already be married. I just wish I could go forward in time and skip all this dating/talking-to-people mess. Here is a hilarious mock-up I drew at the age of 17 of a future family photo. I hate myself.

What we can learn from this:

1. My future hypothetical husband is a cranberry farmer

2. I'm apparently going to dress my child in cat costumes