Ham Sandwich

At some point between the release of the Nintendo 64 and the day I became a Vegetarian, one of my mom's friends was babysitting me. I asked her if I could have a Q-tip for some sort of arts and crafts kidtivity. I repeat, it was not an ear-based need. She gave me two Q-tips and told me that I could use one for each ear. Even as a child of either 6, 7, or 8, I knew that didn't make any sense.

GOODNIGHT

I told her that the ham sandwich she made for lunch looked gross and that I wouldn't eat it. She told me that I had to stay at the table until I finished it. According to television, this kind of thing happens all the time. Perhaps my two readers are rolling their eyes because they had to deal with this every day of their lives. I didn't have any rules as a child, so I was not equipped to deal with this situation. I tore up the sandwich and sank each piece to the bottom of my glass of milk. I then handed her the empty plate and glass of sandwich/milk to be washed. Because I'm an idiot.

I hope I was 6 and not 8 when I did this

Obviously she discovered the sandwich and called me back to the kitchen. She made me stand at the sink and eat the soapy milky ham sandwich. I looked up defiantly and said with a full mouth that it tasted better that way. I'm kind of a brat.