Great Expectations: My Self-Centered Halloween Costume Post

Jess Siswick and I are going on a trip to Provo for our birthdays/to visit friends/to mack on dudes/because it's Mormon Halloween, y'all. Seriously, Halloween is the funnest time to be Mormon. I have a lot of crazy expectations for this trip:

• I will party like I've never partied before. 
• I'll go on an amazing adventure that will define me for the rest of my life. 
• I will meet my soulmate. His name will be Dog, like the bounty hunter. Instead of bounty hunting though, he'll have some sort of job where he wears suits and/or saves lives. 
• I will be really beautiful and young and cool...my life is going to be like a Target ad, even if it's only for a week. 

Since I'm going to be partying so hard, I'll need multiple costumes. For those of you who come in contact with me on the regular, I apologize for how much time I spend talking about this. You have to understand, I haven't met any of these people. I haven't ruined things with these strangers yet! I'm completely in control of how I'm perceived. First and foremost, I need to do my best to look attractive for both facebook and macking purposes. I gotta bring it, so to speak. I gotta do it like the hot girls do. That means heels and fake lashes even though I generally wear sensible shoes and blink too much. I desperately want these strangers my new friends to get the (decidedly false) impression that I am somehow cool, funny, good-looking, and smart.

I have tentatively decided on these three costumes. Here is some ms paint concept art for good measure. Enjoy.

I am not actually going to attempt to make Air Bud sexy.